I have come so far

Well, the weekend was a complete success.  I went to a huge festival, and only went to the parts I wanted.  This kept my husband and I on speaking terms.  I’m so used to being stuck there as my pain increases and I get more and more irritable.

I was much better psychologically and physically than I was last year!  I fully participated in three workshops.  I was someone’s confidant, and am comfortable with the advice I gave.  I’m not beating myself up over anything I decided to do or say.  I have come so far!

My husband and I decided to take the hit of a late fee on our rent so that we could go to this year’s festival with money.  My husband did not get the message that he is now getting paid on Fridays instead of Wednesdays.  His mom had a heart attack (after major surgery, she’s okay now) on the week when the change had been posted on the bulletin board, while he wasn’t at work.  Meanwhile, his email service glitched and erased all of his emails, including the one telling him of the change.  So instead of being two days late, we will be four days late on rent.  I currently have no idea how much this is going to cost us in late fees.

His schedule at work changed and we are having difficulty adjusting.  We moved up here for our friendship base, a friendship base that he will not get to see because of this change.

I have made friends here too now.  I have been horrid at actually making meetings with them happen.  I must change that.  Make that “I am changing that.”  (Tweaking brain, figuring out how to actually make this happen.)  My life currently revolves around my husband, cat, computer, and the ever-present pile of dishes.  Make that “My life has a healthy balance of time for others and time for myself.”

I’m learning how to be nice to myself.  One of the workshops I went to was on how to make bath bombs (they fizz the bathwater).  I gave the instructor money to grab a bunch of her old stock.  That was several days ago now, and I have yet to treat myself to a fizzy bath.  {stops to choose a bath salt or fizzy and put up hair}  Kitty’s Jasmine Dreams Bath Salts it is! (no, I’m not making a commission for giving out that info).

I need to refresh the aquarium water before I get myself all good-smelling.  {stops to put water jugs in front of the sink, confusing the hell out of the fish by turning on the light at 1:30 a.m.}  There, 4 gallons of prepped water set by the aquarium.  I’ll get to the rest of it after I publish this blog page.

I had set up a friend-cosmetologist to do my hair, but she is going through her own personal hell, and has been for several weeks now.  Therefore I plan to (again) foil, bleach, and dye my own hair.  See!?  At one point I could barely butter my own piece of bread, and that was with someone holding me up at the counter!  I have come so far!  It takes lots of courage on my part to commit to a project this big, my arms may be fairly useless the day after.  I don’t like counting on others, just to go weeks waiting.  Her hell started the day of our appointment.  I am sad for her, but now anxious (not the right word!!  “Anxious” means being afraid. I’m picking another word) “impatient” now about getting my hair done.  I don’t especially want to plan for someone else to do it again.  Wrestling with myself about whether to try again to have someone do it for me, while I await getting the dye that I want to use after taking the hairstylist’s choices back to Sally Beauty.  Her choices take far more effort than the bleach and color of my choice.  The first person who comes to mind, who said they would do my hair for me, is super busy.

Doing this blog helps me get my mind in order.  Looking back, I’m fairly content with myself for my continued growth.