The broken heart. I have been there too many times to count. I even created the foul situation once, if you can call it “once”. I was leaving 3 guys I had fallen for, because the first one was the jealous type and all I could see down that road was irreparable damage. Ugh, if he had only come after me and saved me from my stupid self… oh well.
Sometimes you can see that the person they have chosen is a better match for them than you are, that they will be happier with them. I was oddly not jealous when my first love started dating another girl. She was beautiful and sweet. I was a bit skinny for his tastes, she seemed perfect. She was exuberant and a bit of a rebel like he was. They would knock on the windows of limos and such, things I would never do. I loved him and was able to be happy he had found someone who matched him so well. I was disappointed, but did not have a broken heart.
The mental image that helped me through most of my future heartbreaks was of getting out duct tape and putting it back together. I didn’t have any friends to come over with ice cream and talk with or watch chick flicks with, so it was pretty rough.
I did some fantasizing, but never went so far as to have revenge sex or take it out on his car. The fantasy starts: I’m crying and some genuinely sweet guy shows up to comfort me…
I was that vulnerable at a restaurant at one point, seeking a certain waiter that I shared a spark with. He had caught me checking him out and I went bashful, then he started some rather serious flirting. For some other reason, his boss got him all kinds of mad, so the fun ended. When I went back, he no longer worked there, and no one knew where he was working or how to reach him. I was despondent, having a dessert, and the current waiter found out my situation. He got as close as he could while serving me without actually touching me, which was so very hot that he nearly got laid. It made me wonder if they trained their waiters on how to be hot for more tips and a more memorable customer experience. If parking there hadn’t been $10, I certainly would have gone there more often! I’ve always had great luck getting over a broken heart by having attractive guys serving me hand and foot at churrascarias (Brazilian grills).
I also try to have a place where I can feel “mothered”. There was a Thai restaurant, where I could go and be served by the sweetest waitress, who recognized me and knew that I always wanted “tea, hot tea”. The food was so very good, and I felt so loved and safe there.
I also created a special MP3 playlist. Yes, I still use an MP3 player from years and years ago. I put songs on it that fit nearly any phase of a relationship. These songs helped me through so many heartaches, I can’t even… even now, I use them to encourage me to do the dishes or if I’m mad at my husband. Just hearing the apology in the song “Woman” eases my anger.
1.) The type of woman I choose to be for my man (“Right Down the Line”, Gerry Rafferty) “You’ve been as constant as the northern star, the brightest light that shines”
2.) The guy apologizing and appreciating me (“Woman”, John Lennon, Yoko Ono) “Woman I can hardly express
My mixed emotions at my thoughtlessness
After all I’m forever in your debt
And woman I will try to express
My inner feelings and thankfulness
For showing me the meaning of success” and really the entire song.
3.) Being okay with being addicted to my current guy (“The Zepher Song”, Red Hot Chili Peppers) “Coming down, no not today”
4.) What WILL be in my life (She Will Be loved, Maroon 5) –There’s no point chasing after someone who doesn’t love me. If the current crush doesn’t love me, I’m determined to find someone who does. My smile might be broken right now, but I WILL be loved!
5.) Appreciative man, and the type of woman I choose to be (“Love of a Woman”, Travis Tritt) “Where would we be without the love of a woman
Standing behind her man even when he’s wrong
The true pure undying love of a woman
Makes a man a fool to think he can make it alone”
6.) How it should be In a good lasting relationship (“Still The One”, Orleans)
“You’re still the one I want to talk to in bed
Still the one that turns my head
We’re still having fun, and you’re still the one”
I avoided putting songs on the MP3 player that were hostile toward men.
Well, those are some ideas for you, I hope they help.